I'm an ego half empty kind of girl.
Polina is composed entirely of fangirling and adorable.--Megan
Polina. 17. INFP. 4w5. San Francisco.
I have a girlcrush on Summer Glau and Regina Spektor, a tendency to randomly start singing showtunes, and A LOT OF FEELINGS about fictional characters. If you like Joss Whedon, chances are, I'll like you.
My Tumblr Wife
The Red to my Snow White
The Orgy to my Gentlemen
My Follow Forever
Formerly to-being-an-us-for-once and uncreativetitle.
"I don't know how you got the stomach for reality when you could go circle the stars."--Marian Call
Polina. 17. INFP. 4w5. San Francisco.
I have a girlcrush on Summer Glau and Regina Spektor, a tendency to randomly start singing showtunes, and A LOT OF FEELINGS about fictional characters. If you like Joss Whedon, chances are, I'll like you.
My Tumblr Wife
The Red to my Snow White
The Orgy to my Gentlemen
My Follow Forever
Formerly to-being-an-us-for-once and uncreativetitle.
"I don't know how you got the stomach for reality when you could go circle the stars."--Marian Call
Posts tagged "dyingdyingdying"
- Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
- Witness: "I only have one, you know."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
- Witness: "By death."
- Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
- -----
- Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
- The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
- -----
- Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
- Witness: "July 15th."
- Lawyer: "What year?"
- Witness: "Every year."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
- Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
- Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
- Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
- Witness: "Er...his face."
- -----
- Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
- Witness: "I forget."
- Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
- Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
- Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
- Witness: "Forty-five years."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
- Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
- Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
- Witness: "My name is Susan."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
- Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
- Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
- Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
- -----
- Lawyer: "What happened then?"
- Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
- Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
- Witness: "No."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
- Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
- -----
- Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
- -----
- Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
- Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
- Witness: "That's me."
- Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
- Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
- Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
- Witness: "None."
- Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
- Witness: "Borofkin."
- Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
- Witness: "I can't remember."
- Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
- Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
- Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
- Witness: "No."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
- Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
- Witness: "Yes sir."
- Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
- Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
- -----
- Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
- Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
- Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
- -----
- Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
- Witness: "I could see his head."
- Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
- Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
- -----
- Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
- Witness: "The victim lived."
(via thebeltlessplan)
![tastefullyoffensive:
[via]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m35mw6YHVE1qewacoo1_500.jpg)
Bing Lee: 500 Teenage Prostitutes
The thought of Bing Lee dominates my mother’s life. It’s all she talks about. So through everything my crazily lovable mother, the 2.5 WPF club, and my out of control baby sister, you lovely people get to learn all about Bing Lee. - Don’t forget to Reblog!
thanks netflix
Oh dear. I really hope you don’t mind if I…
- A single snowflake falls out of the sky. The townspeople wait to see if it will snow. Shovels at the ready, snow-blowers running… they wait.
- The father goes to the kitchen, and opens the refrigerator door. The mother and two children sit at the table, watching his every move. Wondering… will there be enough pemeal bacon for breakfast?
- Someone uses the phrase “angry beaver”. They wait to see… who will be the first to laugh?
- Two men are walking through a doorway. One bumps into the other. They stop. Look at each other. ….Which one will apologize first?
- A group of four people on a train headed to Thunder Bay. One of them is an American posing as a Canadian. Instinctively, the Canadians in the group begin to use the word ‘eh’ in casual conversation. Will they be able to flush out the impostor?
- Two friends go on a mission to find out… what ever DID happen to Office Glen? Is he REALLY dead?
- A Canadian man walks into a restaurant in America. Without looking at the menu, asks for an order of ‘poutine’. Will the employees and fellow customers gasp in shock? Will they apprehend him for his lewd language? Or will someone just get him some fries smothered in gravy and cheese?
- An American is visiting a Canadian friend. The Canadian has to go to work the first morning, tells the American to just get himself a bowl of cereal. He’s never seen or used a ‘pitcher’ of milk before…… will he figure it out, or die of starvation?
…I should stop now.
- Peeta: Katniss
- Peeta: I'm in love with you
- Peeta: Now let me sing you the song of my people
- Peeta: CURRY ON MY WAYWARD BUNNNNN
- Peeta: THERE'LL BE TOAST WHEN YOU ARE DONE
- Peeta: LAY YOUR WEARY BREAD TO REST
- Peeta: DON'T YOU RYE NO MORE
- Me: There were times I didn't even think you were a pen.
- Me: But let me tell you this, you were the best writing utensil
- Me: The most pen... pen that I've ever known.
- Me: And no one will ever convince me that you ran out of ink, so there.
- Me: I was so alone, writing an essay, and I owe you so much.
- Me: But please there's just one more thing, one more thing
- Me: One more miracle, Pen, for me
- Me: Don't be... dead.
- Pen:
- Sondheim writes for a wolf: Think of those crisp, aging bones, then something fresh on the palate, think of that scrumptious carnality, twice in one day! There's no possible way to describe what you feel... When you're talking to your meal!
- Lloyd Webber writes for cats: BECAUSE JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES CAN JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES CAN JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS!!!
You’re welcome
This is like the best cast in history or something.
(via arrytheorphanboy)
